Should I Take Divorce Advice From Social Media?
If you are anything like me, when you scroll social media, pick an app, any app, you come across these ‘AITAH’ scenarios or Reddit stories where the original poster asks if their response was wrong in a specific situation. The situations usually range wildly, but lately, I’ve seen several posts on property and marriage. “My boyfriend wants his name on my home,” “My new wife thinks I should add her name to the title of the house I own,” “Should I pay my spouse rent on his fully paid off, inherited house,” etc.
The interesting part comes from all of the people chiming in with their advice for the OP. The responses all jump to “they’re a gold digger, leave them!” But when I read these, I find myself thinking every time, you need to consult with an attorney! Okay, so clearly, they are crowdsourcing advice for engagement, so just to be interesting, let’s take a closer look.
The situations differ in that one couple was not married, one couple was newly married and the third couple were married but considering inherited property. While they each had their differences, all three couples were puzzling over how to consider the separate property of one partner. And the correct step to take at the time of the article, is an attorney consultation for guidance. Even with all the ‘gold digger’ comments, legal clarity on the situation could help both parties think more clearly.
But what if all three had considered these obstacles ahead of time? A good cohabitation agreement prior to moving in together would have been beneficial to the unmarried couple. The newlyweds would have benefited from a prenuptial agreement where they worked out intentions and expectations around the pre-owned home. And the inheritance would have also benefited from setting up the terms for living ahead of moving in.
The main thread in each of these, is think about these ‘what if’s’ before you take a big step like moving in together or getting married. Preparing for outcomes ahead of time will prevent a lot of confusion in the long run and help keep terms like ‘gold digger’ and ‘divorce’ at bay. Also, If things are taking a turn, do not hesitate to talk to a legal professional. You do not always have to have an attorney on retainer, you can just set up a consultation to find out if more serious representation is needed. And finally, if you are a married couple now considering divorce with complicated financial issues like the above, talk to a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® as well. You can get an idea of what your options are or even if you need to be concerned about some of the threats that fly when divorce is mentioned. Our specialties as CDFA® practitioners lie in tracing separate property and adding clarity to these kinds of discussions.